DAYnamics Show - OTC 38: Unlock Deeper Connections Through Your Listening Language

DAYnamics Show - OTC 38: Unlock Deeper Connections Through Your Listening Language
In this episode of the DAYnamics Show, Marianna explores the difference between simply hearing and truly listening under the umbrella of 'listening language'.

Discover the various listening styles, the importance of being fully present, and how attentive listening can transform your relationships. Tune in to enhance your communication skills and embrace a more dynamic way of living.

References in the Podcast:
Blog: https://dynamicsseries.com/blogs/f/what-is-your-listening-language

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:16

Hello everyone and welcome to the Dynamic Show where we remind you to align with your own dynamic well-being every day. I'm Marianna, your guide on today's journey. So first I just want to say thank you so much for being with us and know that there is a reason why you are here. Today we're focusing on one of our unscripted and unpredictable off-the-cuff recordings, exploring the subject of listening language listening language. I like to set the tone for our time together, because the intention is to experience this show fully. So I ask that you bring your attention to this now moment and listen with an open heart and mind, and listen with an open heart and mind. Now, I'm often asked why I pick a topic, and I think sometimes it's important to share that because otherwise it could just be you know the biggest events or what's trending or whatever it is, but I follow my guidance and so it's usually. Something is up, something's going on in my life, an experience of I've had, or I just wake up and go this is what I need to talk about today, because it's off the cuff, there's no real script to follow. I have some sense of what I'm going to talk about, but most of the time it's just being in this moment and being guided what to say. And if I get an idea or thought, I just say it Because, again, the reason why you are here listening is because there could be one word or one sentence that I say and that is what you needed to listen to, to change your perspective, to change something about your day, whatever it might be. So, again, you can't question sometimes what you say, if you're just guided to say it. Obviously, we want it to be in an affirmative, positive thing, but sometimes what comes out, what comes out, that's just the way it works. It's just the way it works Now.

Speaker 1: 2:59

I have talked about doing this listening language podcast show for quite a while and I just feel like today's the time is right, because I feel like it's just an important part of living a dynamic life and it is a cornerstone to effective communication. Let's define what listening actually means. So it says give attention to a sound or an effort to hear something. So here's a question to our listeners Can you relate to that? Do you think you are a good listener? Do you listen or do you hear, or do you do both? I mean, I guess every situation is a little bit different, but it's a really good question to ask yourself, and you just want to make you more conscious about the listening factor, not only from what you listen to others, but listening to yourself as well, because they're the two points that we're going to be talking about the most in this podcast is how do you listen to others and how do you listen to yourself? So, listening to others Now, when you look at listening as a general listening language, as a general idea, there's so many languages and we're not talking about the over 7,000 different languages that people speak languages, emotional languages, support languages, the languages of communication and then there's written and there's body and there's spoken, and there's just so many of them.

Speaker 1: 5:10

And I know that we did a podcast on support language. So if you haven't listened to that, then listen maybe to that after you're listening to this listening one, because language is so again, so much more than what comes out of your mouth, like when I look at you know the spoken, the unspoken, the body, like the language that you and just being is amazing if you pay attention to it. So then we're, you know we go into the listening styles and that's like active and passive and silent and critical and compassionate, I mean, the list goes on and on with that. But it's like when you are listening to others, are you listening? Are you really listening to them? Are you hearing what they say? Do you repeat back what they say? I'll give you a little example about that is I was told the other day it's like you have a great memory and I said thank you, as most people would do when they're given a compliment, but then they're like you actually remembered. So that must mean that you listened to what I actually said and I said, of course I do.

Speaker 1: 6:40

If you're in front of me and I'm having a conversation, I'm being present, I'm being in the presence of our conversation. Therefore, I am not only listening, but then I'm replying back. I'm responding back. I may be asking you a question or just confirming what it is that you're saying, or asking you to share more about that, because if it's important enough for you to share in a conversation that I have chosen to be in with you, then by all means I am going to be listening, active listening, and then I can have.

Speaker 1: 7:30

Well, I guess what happens sometimes is, when you do listen to, it may go through some of your own filters, you know. So you might, someone might, say a word, and then it triggers something or it affects you in a certain way or an emotion comes up around that and it takes you to a different place. So then you just like to be very present. When you're and in the presence of listening to the language of others is just putting yourself stuff aside after you are aware of what's happening and just even if you have to take a deep breath and go, okay, I'm here listening and having a conversation with this person, so I'll address my stuff later. Thanks for coming up and then we'll continue on our conversation. So, again that you are present and I know that a majority of us when we speak Note that a majority of us when we speak, and not only when we speak but when we're listening to someone else that when it's our turn, do you not want that same respect, that someone that can actually be there and actually listen fully to you? Now, we understand, we get it.

Speaker 1: 8:54

There's going to be times where it's just not the right time, but you'll know that and the best way to get away from any kind of disappointment around that or impatience or expectation stuff is just if it's important enough that you want someone's full attention, then maybe go to them first and go and hey, I just need to chat with you about this. Is now a good time. If it's not, then let me know when where I can have your focused attention, where there's no distractions. You know you're not on the computer, you're not watching tv, you're not on your phone, you're not in the middle of something else like cooking or cleaning or this or that, but that you know if it's important enough that you're there to listen and be, and then they have the agreement. So there's, you know, I know things come up when that happens as well, but if you're asking someone for their time and attention to really hear and listen, then if you've got their agreement, then it goes a whole lot better. And if that needs to be rescheduled because something comes up, then so be it, because I know life happens. However, if you can set aside that time, and it's more like it's a respect thing as well.

Speaker 1: 10:29

Now the other thing is listening to yourself. Do you listen to your guidance, your intuition, how you talk to yourself? Do you listen for those ideas, those nudges, what your body's telling you, what your mind's telling you, whatever? Do you actually listen to that. So I put that out to our listening audience. It's like is this making sense to you so far? You know, you see that there's the two, there's the outer listening and the inner listening, and are you getting some better ideas around the whole listening stuff?

Speaker 1: 11:23

So let me give you an example, a body example. Do you listen to your body? Simple question, the impulses, what it needs, does it need to rest, does it need to sleep, does it need to eat? Does it need to move, does it need to be still, does it need to whatever it needs to? Do you actually listen to it? Do you have that self-talk and that conversation and that listening language with it that says, hey, I'm going to listen to my body?

Speaker 1: 12:00

Now, if you listen to any of our other podcasts or read any of our blogs or vehicle videos everything that's on our Dynamics Series website there's so many resources as to how to tune in to yourself and to really listen to what it is that you need. So, for my body, we had done a podcast just a bit ago and it was like just getting more in tune with what my body was saying. And you know, I just use some knowing affirmations. You can use whatever you want, you know, show me, since I what's next? I am, I allow, I receive, I am in alignment with whatever it is that you want to, and you can make it an actual intention for the day or for the week or for the month or whatever it is, to be really in tune with your body. So that's what I did. I was in tune and listened to my body and ate different foods and seen how I reacted to them and where did it show up in my body, how did it feel? When it felt like resting, then that was it. I went and rested.

Speaker 1: 13:20

When you really have the ability and I understand people are busy, people have to work, we all have a life but if you can be more aware of what is happening and listening to your body, then again there's more balance and then you can live a more dynamic life because you're actually listening and you're open to those new ideas and you're aligning. And you're open to those new ideas and you're aligning and you're allowing and you're empowered. So the question now is how do you listen? What do you want your listening language to be? Again, not only for yourself, for others. If you do and be that which you would like to receive, then you will have more balance. You know that old saying about you know having how you treat others. I mean treat others the way you want to be treated. I mean that's an old saying that really reflects the law of attraction like attracts like. So if you're listening to yourself, listening to your body, listening to others, then they will naturally do that for you as well, because you're truly listening and listen.

Speaker 1: 14:52

Sometimes it's just better to listen than it is to talk. Listening is, to me, one of those ones that are right up there, because you want to be acknowledged, do you not, when you're talking, and we did. I did a course, like a long time ago, after I wrote a book Not, I wrote a book, I wish I did, but I felt like I did because it resonated with me. I listened to an author it may have been John Gray, I'm not sure if I get that right, but I can clarify that in the show notes and that was just about really sitting across from your partner or whoever it is work, family and really learning how to communicate eye contact, body directly towards them, mirroring them, repeating what they say Not word for word, but you know, this is what I heard you say and really taking that in before you're wanting to just quickly respond. Well, this is what I would do. Or I understand, because this is what happened to me. I understand because this is what happened to me In that moment. It's about them sharing with you, so it's about honoring and acknowledging them, and so having that attention brought to me has helped me be a better listener. Now, do I listen, great, all the time? No, because, again, like I said, life happens and things come up, but when I'm in a focused situation or someone has asked me, or it's a weekly thing or a meeting or whatever it might be, then I'm going to be there with them listening. So how do you want your listening language to be? So now I'm just going to go on to the DynaTools, which is dynamics and take-home tools together.

Speaker 1: 17:13

We did a blog on this topic as well, and I'll put that link in the show notes. But one of the things that I took from the blog that I'll share here is that it's like P-R-E, there's like a presence for listening language, like be present, and then there's reflective for the R, which is just reflect back to them. Reflect, like I said, in your body language, in your spoken language back to them and then be empathetic. The E might change a little bit because it could be whatever emotion it is that you want to have, but it's more about you know. Having a sense of understanding where that person is and why you know. Having a sense of understanding where that person is and why you know they're sharing. What they're sharing and how that may make them feel Doesn't mean you take it on. It just means that you can be empathetic, that someone's going through a certain thing or sharing a certain piece of information with you.

Speaker 1: 18:21

So they're the dynatools I want to leave you with, as well as some of the other things that we've talked about. So, to summarize, we shared the perspective on listening language. We shared an example and I'll challenge you to be a better listener. That's what I'd like you to do First of all, decide what kind of listening language you want to have and then to just be a better listener, including to yourself. And we shared the Dynatools. So now I ask you, how will you use this dynamic energy in your life now, this listening language energy, and how has this changed a bit of your perspective? We love your affirmative feedback. We love your support. We have more compelling shows coming up and more potent past recordings, so you just go and see what catches your attention. On our website, dynamicsshowinfo or dynamicsseriescom slash podcast Plus, read a more defined definition about being dynamic. Oh, and I do need to add that all material are copyrighted and are for informational purposes. So until we meet again, thank you, thank you. Thank you for listening with your listening language and make it a dynamic day.