DSF 023: Your Emotions Can Guide You If You Let Them

DAYnamics Show Fundamentals 023: Your Emotions Can Guide You If You Let Them (with our Guest Sophie)          

We explore emotional balance by treating feelings as energy in motion and learning how to stay present with emotions. We are pleased to have our guest, Sophie Malahieude on this podcast, using SpeakPipe! As an Emotional Balance Coach and a new Author, we discuss her journey and the story behind her book: Beyond Emotions! It's all part of our month on EMOTION Dynamics!

• Sophie’s journey 
• what an Emotional Balance Coach does and how the Emotion Process works 
• why emotions are signals and messages rather than punishment 
• how expectation, judgment, and comparison can trigger emotions 
• separating who we are from the roles we play 
• giving ourselves grace and naming what we feel in the present moment 
• Sophie’s six week program and where to find her online 

Links for the Show:

Sophie's website:  www.ayuryogawithsophie.com

Sophie's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sophiejimalahieude/

Transcript

Welcome And Centering

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, our Dynamics community. It is your host, Marianna, here to welcome you to the Dynamics Show, where personal development meets daily life. On this podcast, we know there's no one size fits all path in life, which is why each episode is crafted for you to align with your own dynamic self on your terms. Our journey here is filled with options, opportunities, and infinite possibilities. So let's uncover the reason you are here because we know you always hear what you need to and explore what's possible together. So today we're doing a combination again of our fundamentals and our discussion recording using the application of Speakpipe. We're on the subject in of dynamics for emotion dynamics this month, and we're very excited because we love that energy in motion, and we love to discuss our different emotions and offer more resources for people to come in alignment and balance and well-being around them. That's why we do the different dynamics. But before we do that, I like to start to set the tone for all of our podcasts for our time together, as it is more than just a podcast. We are here to remind you that flowing through each one of us is a dynamic energy that is ours to use every single day. That's why the day in dynamics is capitalized. It is a daily choice to live dynamically. So let's take a moment to center ourselves, take a deep breath in and out, be fully present, and listen with an open heart and mind since we know that what we focus on expands. A part of being dynamic is constantly changing, being open to new ideas, and knowing we're always becoming something. So let's see what we can become with this new information and perspective on emotions.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

So let's ask you this first to start, audience.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Given the title, which I haven't given you yet, but it'll be something to do with emotions. Can you relate to your emotions? Have you ever asked yourself or wondered why and how and even who I who else may be thinking the same thing about their emotions? You're either so far disconnected from them or some form of a balance or maybe really in tune with your emotions. Wherever you are on that emotional scale, then that's perfect for you at the time. And I'm so excited to have our guest Sophie here to just give more clarity from her journey. And there's there's such a range of emotions, so let's move forward and see what Sophie has to say. So with Speakpipe for those that are are are not familiar with it. I send Sophie a question, she's answering it, so there will be a different change of variation in voice sounds, and that's okay, because again, we'll always hear what we need to hear, and we look forward to a fascinating conversation today. Sophie is a new author of her book, Beyond Emotions. Great title, great read as well.

Sophie’s Journey Into Yoga

SPEAKER_00 5:13

You're also an emotional balance coach among so much more. Again, we thank you for being here. Please introduce yourself with a bit of your journey and then let our audience know what an emotional balance coach is and how it can help them.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Welcome. Hi Mariana, I'm very happy to be with you today on Dynamics Show. My journey started 30 years ago when I moved from France to Germany, and it was a blessing as I met my first yoga teacher. I discovered more about my mind and its functioning. And it helped me every time I had a situation that was challenging in my life to go back to the practice, to the meditation, and find inner peace. From Germany, we moved to the United States. My uh children were still very young, one year old and five years old, and I was more and more learning about yoga as I wanted to become a yoga teacher. Along the way, I learned about the sister science of yoga, which is Ayurveda. Very simply explained, yoga is a methodology to become a better person. And Ayurveda is a nature-based system to understand what we are made of and how we can improve our health and longevity through diet and lifestyle. So they both are complementary because with Ayurveda you can improve your health and longevity, connect to Mother Earth, and yoga gives you the tools of self-reflection to reconnect with yourself, with others, and with something bigger than us. In the United States, I move from one state to the another and always came back to the practice of yoga and Ayurveda. Along the way, also I learned about mindfulness and I become a life coach because I wanted to have all the tools to help people around me. What does emotional balance coach do? I created a methodology on my own, what I call the emotion process, where I help my client to understand the emotion. That emotion is an energy like any other energies that are around us and circulating in us. And as the energy is moving, it's completing a cycle. So when the emotion arrives and we feel the emotion, so we can understand where it is coming from, what it means, and what is the message I can learn and grow from it. The methodology I'm using is movement, press work, self-inquiry, and powerful question that I ask to my client.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Thank you, Sophie.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

That's a very meaningful journey that you've gone through, and I've had the ability to read your book as well. So I would suggest anyone read her book. And thank you for introducing yourself, sharing a bit of the journey, and sharing us sharing with us a bit of the emotional balance coach, because I think that the balance part is the key part of that. So thank you for doing that and sharing your gift with everyone. Next we ask Sophie. Now on to your book. Again, congratulations. And we will share the link below in the show notes as to how to purchase it and how to

Writing Beyond Emotions

SPEAKER_00 9:44

reach Sophie, like all her contact information. Is it a reflection of everything your journey thus far has taught you? And how are you feeling about it now that it is being shared and that your story is out there?

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Thank you. Now that the book is written, I realize that this time I put apart to write the book was helping me to put on paper the methodologies that I had developed over the years to understand the emotion. Emotions are not a burden, they are not a punishment. They are experiences that we have in life giving us signals or messages for us to grow. Emotions, they are part of our life. We don't have to avoid them, we don't have to suppress them. And in this writing, I hope that readers can go through the process of their emotion quicker than me, so there will be less suffering, and they can gain emotional freedom quicker than I did.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Thank you, Sophie. I love how we share our resources to help others from what we've already gone through to help, like you said, get them through it faster. And I love that you said that the emotions are like a messages to help us grow and they're just part of life. So it's like about having a relationship with them along the way.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Thank you so much. Now let's go on to our next question.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

I really adored the question you asked yourself of who are you now after some of your journey and with your kids growing

Who Am I Without Roles

SPEAKER_00 12:11

up? Do you ask yourself that question even today? And how do you think the questions we ask ourselves shape our emotions and how we move through this world?

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Yes, I still um ask myself this question, who I am. Now, this question, as you mentioned, who I am, might trigger emotions. I would say that it triggers emotion because there is the expectation we have in life, and we are judging ourselves and we are comparing ourselves together. So if you remove from the equation expectation, judgment, and comparison, then you become curious. And when we ask ourselves who I am, it's important to go beyond the role we have in life. So being a mom, being a spoose, being a nurse or any other profession, they are roles that we have in life. They are not who we are. What we are is beneath all those roles, what motivates us every single day to go up and embrace the day. And those qualities, they are our skills, they are our values. So, for example, if you ask myself who I am, I could define everything with what I'm doing in life. They are not all the expression of who I am. At the center of my being is love, compassion for myself, for others. For me, it's through life coaching and teaching, but it could be anything. Now, right, defining ourselves, remove from the equation, judgment, and expectation, and then from there be curious. And then then you are removing the emotions that can mean holding you back and discover who really you are and what you want to do with your life.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

That's a great explanation. Yes, any question can trigger some emotion, and I love how you said just to put all that other stuff behind it, and then just become more curious, you know, about who you are and what motivates you, and who are we in the center of our being. And sometimes like we say too, uh on the resources that we share is sometimes we have to redefine who we are from who we thought we were. So that goes right in alignment with what you're sharing.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

So thank you very much for that.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

So on to our next question. Let's discuss the concept of emotions controlling us daily. Give us a personal example of how that might

When Emotions Run The Day

SPEAKER_00 15:44

have happened or is happening with you. And I will start. And I'm actually gonna use this morning as an example. Last night for some reason we we have small pups in the house, and so they were had us up late, so then like I couldn't sleep, so I thought, oh, I'll just go up and do some work, and then I end up deleting a bunch of emails from my phone that because I have an iPhone connected to all the other Mac products that I have, and so I had to spend the whole morning going and recovering each email that I have. And so the emotion that came up in me was frustration, fear, anxiety of let's get this done, let's make sure I can get the the emails back. It's very interesting how something can trigger the emotion, and then and I had to be very conscious in the middle of it and just say, okay, I got this. I'm feeling what I feel, it's all okay. Take my time, let's go through this and and do what we can and breathe through it. That's a big thing. How about for you?

SPEAKER_01 17:02

I will start an example with anger.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

You wake up in the morning, you you didn't hear the uh alarm clock, and you know that you are to be late for work, you will not have time to have your breakfast and you have a meeting. So, what is happening is that on the surface you feel anger, and then you have to release this this strong emotion because it's it's a burden on the physical level. So, if you have the opportunity to snap at someone, you will snap at someone, you you will uh you will express this anger, not in a constructive way, but in a way for you to be able to manage the the emotion. What is happening in the unconscious part of the mind is that the anger is hiding a fear. Whatever the fear is, might be the fear to not perform well at the meeting, it might be the fear of not pleasing your boss, it might be anything. As long as we didn't have the opportunity just to go through the process and understand the fear and then take action to remove the fear, then the anger will always be here because it will be a mechanism, a mechanism off on the conscious level to manage the life.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Yes, another great example. And I love how you brought up the physicalness of it, because that's what I felt too. Like my face got red, I had racing thoughts, like it actually affected my body. So, yes, it's being able to stop sort of in the middle of it and and reassess and readjust. So thank you for that example. Actually, how are how are you doing, audience? How is everyone doing? This is quite interesting, isn't it? It's full of education and awareness around emotions and and different ways that we can address it. So thanks for being here to listen. And thank you again, Sophie, for being part of this emotion dynamics podcast.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

The next question.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

You describe emotions as messengers rather than obstacles. If in an emotion, and you can pick one for you, knocked on your door tomorrow with an urgent message, how would you receive that

Fear As A Messenger

SPEAKER_00 19:36

message and what conversation would you have with it?

SPEAKER_02 19:42

Emotions are always knocking at my door every day. Every day I have emotion. Now, when an emotion is overwhelming, let's take for example, fear. Fear for my children's health, or fear, any kind of fear. If I have time, I'm going to process it right away. If I don't have time, I make a mental note that for now it's okay. I will think about it later. And I'm very good at that now. And instead of creating worry and sadness or anger or fear, whatever it might be, then I'm very good at making a mental note. And in the evening or in the next morning, I'm going to journal it, I'm going to meditate on it, I'm going to talk about it. And that are my tools. So lately I was afraid for the health of my uh children. And so I was not feeling well. And I was okay, what is going on? There is things in life that you can control and things you cannot control. And definitely, I cannot control the health of someone else. If I could, that would be wonderful, but it's not the case. So I was really understanding this concept. I was just thinking about it, you know, when I was going for a walk, I was pre-questioned with curiosity. What's going on? You are afraid. What are you afraid of? I am afraid that my children are not going to love me anymore. I am afraid that maybe they're going to judge me. I am afraid that I was a failure as a mother. And so all those questions they were running in my head, but I was thinking that it was not enough. So I had the opportunity the next day to talk with a friend. And I explained the situation. And at that moment, I was feeling my body was wanted to express something. And she said to me, You know, Sophie, it's okay if you want to cry. And I said, and she just said that, and I was crying. And everything came out that actually was the awkward moment, the unpleasantness I was feeling in my body, it was not about my child's health, which of course is concerning me. I'm not in control of his health again. So I was afraid that he would not love me because I was giving him advice. And he told me not to give him advice. I have to respect that as well. It doesn't make me a bad mother, it doesn't make me less of his mother. It's not going to make that it doesn't love me. It just wants to manage his life and his health with his own terms. For me, that was the thing. It was okay, processing it alone, and at some point talk with someone, someone who is not part of the situation, someone who can be more outside and see the big picture to ask me, allow me to express myself. Yeah, I think that uh when an emotion knocks at the door and they have a message to understand what did I understand with this story is that yes, my son doesn't want my advice, doesn't mean that he doesn't love me. What a great insight for me. That I know I don't need to be on the top of everything to be loved. So, yes, observe, question, and question in a way, you know, for me it was talking with someone, but it can be anything from journaling, meditating, talking with your therapist, talking with a coach, talking with a friend. Anything that helps you to go to the bottom of the emotion and understand the message.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Thank you, Sophie. Thank you for that example of messenger of emotions coming to you and sharing that example with your son. And I think we've all been through that. Any parent or guardian, whether it's with family or friends or co-workers, whatever it might be, that that we can't control someone else, but we can control ourselves, observe, question. Because it's always energy and motion, and I love when you shared about just letting that emotion go, crying it, and just having the cycle of that go through for you. So awesome. Congratulations and thanks for being so vulnerable about sharing your personal stuff with us. We appreciate you. On to the next question. If someone was to come to you to say, like, I understand your concepts intellectually, but I still feel emotionally stunted daily, what would you invite them to explore

Give Yourself Grace First

SPEAKER_00 25:22

first? Not necessarily as a technique, but just as a way of being with themselves.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

I would first say to this person, give yourself grace. There is a saying that Rome was not built in one day. That's the same I concept and idea with emotion. We build resilience, not necessarily in one day. If we can, that's great. If it doesn't come right away, it's okay. Give always your best in being present with yourself, with your emotion, and not blaming yourself. It's okay to be afraid, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to be angry. So give yourself grace. Take a moment and focus on the present moment, just be in the present. You know, right now I am very angry at this person because blah blah blah. It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

I am agree. On it, it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

Thank you. I really appreciate that answer, that discussion that we're having around emotions, especially about living in the now moment and just having grace with yourself through all of this and being present with your emotion, especially when you know you're having it, because you know what it feels like to have emotion, but the name the fact that you can name it and then be present with it and give yourself grace with it is really great feedback for everyone and a great reminder. Thank you so much for that. So we have a couple more questions, and the next one I really was excited to ask because you work extensively with self-inquiry as a tool for transformation. Can you share the most challenging question you've ever

Worthiness And Unconditional Love

SPEAKER_00 27:22

had to ask yourself? Other than obviously, who are you? And how the answer changed not just your thinking, but your entire way of moving through this world, moving through your life.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

The most challenging question I asked myself was am I worth of other people love? It really was a huge question for me because it uh led me to self-inquiry and understanding what are one of my qualities and my value and how I was showing up in the world and what was giving my meaning in my life. Doing this work helped me also to understand that I don't have to be a pleaser to be myself, I don't have to be a pleaser for people to love me. I understood the difference between conditional love, I love you if you love me, and unconditional love, I love you. It changed in my entire life because I started to be authentic to myself, to dress the way I wanted to dress, to be mindful, but at the same time respectful of my own value and my own boundaries, and be able to say no to other people. So it really completely transformed my life when I was diving into the squishy. Am I worse of being loved?

SPEAKER_00 29:05

Wow, that is probably a question a lot of people dive into, and I'm sure that it probably triggers a lot of emotions in people as well. And I love how you turned it into the love part, and then just being more of your authentic self. It's interesting how you and I, as far as our resources, speak a lot of the same language, which is obviously why we're coming together and doing a podcast together as well. So thank you for being you and sharing your gifts with all of us. Again, the information to reach Sophie, your website, and all her resources will be down in the show notes. Now, our last question to Sophie for

Programs And How To Connect

SPEAKER_00 30:02

today is what's next for you? Workshops, workbooks, masterclass, another book, maybe? And please share how our dynamics community listeners can reach you.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

The next step for me is to keep sharing with the world this uh work of understanding our emotions. Now that the book is published, which is a self-help book, I also created a six-week program that is called the emotion process. In this program, I teach and guide participants to understand their emotions, where they're coming from, how to manage them, understand the message so they can build resilience and be friends and develop a new relationship with their emotions. You can find me on my website ioyogawisophie.com. You can also find me on social media, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram with my full name, Sophie Malayud. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

And thank you so much, Sophie, for being on our podcast today around emotions, uh sharing your resources and just her course that she's gonna have and anything else that she's doing will all be presented on her website. We can't thank you enough for you taking the time to be with us because I think it's just important to find the people that really resonate and are new authors and want to share these gifts with others, and you were part of that for us. So thank you, thank you, thank you for that. We look forward to following your journey along the way, and we appreciate you being here again. So, dynamics community, take a moment now to reflect on the show around living a dynamic life every day around the subject of emotions. What resources will you use from this podcast?

Reflection And Closing Challenge

SPEAKER_00 32:29

How will you make this information uniquely yours? And what will you become from this? Because we remember all becoming something. So what now? We challenge you to take action, share this episode with someone who may need it, or explore and or explore our past resources and recordings to keep the discussion alive. Your dynamic journey does not stop here. There's so much more waiting for you. We invite you to follow, subscribe, share, support, and shift your life. Dive into all our resources, dynamic show did info, dynamicsseries.com again in the show notes. Keep in mind all materials are shared on this show are copyrighted and meant for informational purposes only. So until next time, thank you, thank you, thank you for tuning into the dynamic show. Thank you again, Sophie, very much for being part of this. Align with your dynamic well being every day. Have a blessed day, but also make it a dynamic day. Bye for now.